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The last thing you want in an entirely evocative sex story is reassurance that things won't get too graphic. What kind of party is this? Are we going to watch M*A*S*H on that thing? Are we going to pull it into the water and end our nude sadness?Įven before you saw the truly uninviting scene on the box, the name "Softporn" was setting erotic thrill expectations pretty low. Which is unfortunate since they went with three cranky women hot tubbing next to a 13" black and white television. Since there were no graphics, the cover art for Softporn Adventure had to do a lot of heavy lifting. I urge you to make sure this knowledge will never be useful, but here is a chart if you'd like to know more: They are, regrettably: Desperate Poontang Hunt, Gluing Dongs to an Existing Game, Criminally Insane Depravity, and of course, Sexual Assault. So let's take a look at some gross and forgotten porn games from the '80s, alongside their modern equivalents, and see what happened after an industry of lonely masturbators soaked in its own untested sperm for 35 years.īefore we begin, let's go over the four main genres of erotic games.
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Improved technology and design tools only allowed perverts to produce weirder, moister games. In a world with an endless appetite for tits and entertainment, erotic games were never anything more than unwanted garbage for unapprehended sex criminals.Īnd as the decades went by, they somehow got worse.
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This isn't really true, but it's especially not true for video games.
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The worst person at a party might have once told you that all technology, from different media formats to telecommunications to rubber asshole viscosity, is driven by pornography.
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